Friendship is one of the most formative relationships in our lives. From childhood playmates to adult confidants, friendships shape who we are, how we grow, and even how healthy we feel. Yet, as adults, meaningful friendships often feel harder to find. Between busy schedules, family responsibilities, career demands, and the lure of social media, it can feel almost impossible to build connections that are deep, lasting, and spiritually nourishing.
That’s why I’m so excited to begin a brand-new Friendship Series on the Orderly Podcast. In the first episode, I share a story that is close to my heart—a conversation with my best friend, Steph, that reminded me of the power of friendship, the importance of stepping into your calling, and how Jesus designed us for connection.
A Story of Friendship and Encouragement
A few episodes ago, I shared that Steph had taken a sabbatical from co-hosting Orderly. I’ll admit, I was secretly hoping she’d be ready to come back. I missed our back-and-forth conversations, the laughter, and the honest heart-sharing that shaped the podcast for over a decade.
When we finally caught up, her response surprised me. Instead of returning as co-host, she encouraged me to take center stage. She reminded me that the show—and the ideas that shape it—came from my heart, and listeners needed to hear them directly from me.
That conversation didn’t just change the podcast—it reminded me what friendship really looks like. Friends are the people who support your dreams, push you out of your comfort zone, and encourage you to step into your calling, especially when fear or self-doubt creeps in.
Friendship Shapes Us from Childhood Onward
We often think of friendship as a “nice-to-have” part of life, but the truth is that it is essential for growth. Watching my four-year-old son navigate his world has reminded me of how deeply formative friendships can be. Potty training stalled—until he saw his friends doing it. Riding his strider bike didn’t click until he was surrounded by a pack of kids zooming around together. Conflict resolution became real when he had to negotiate, apologize, and forgive his peers.
Instruction alone isn’t enough. Friendships provide real-life, experiential lessons in empathy, patience, courage, and joy. The same is true for adults. No amount of advice or self-help books can fully teach the lessons that only shared life with trusted friends can.
Why Adult Friendships Are Harder to Find
As we grow older, forming meaningful friendships becomes trickier. Life changes, relocations, and family responsibilities often reduce our opportunities to connect. Some of us may have stayed in the same town our whole lives, yet feel stuck because the people around us still relate to an old version of ourselves. And while social media keeps us “connected,” it often leaves us lonelier than ever.
Despite these challenges, cultivating friendships is worth the effort. Friendship impacts us not only emotionally but physically and spiritually as well.
The Benefits of Friendship
Emotionally, friendship:
Reduces loneliness and isolation
Provides perspective and stress relief
Encourages healthy habits and spiritual growth
Brings joy through shared laughter and experiences
Physically, friendship:
Promotes heart health and lowers blood pressure
Strengthens immunity by reducing stress
Encourages healthier lifestyle choices
Increases longevity and overall quality of life
God designed us for relationship. He didn’t intend for us to live in isolation. Friendship is a gift, a channel for His love, and a mirror of His faithfulness.
Jesus and Friendship
Friendship wasn’t casual or optional for Jesus—it was central to His life and ministry. He redefined friendship, showing us that it involves love, sacrifice, shared life, and obedience rooted in trust.
He said, “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)
He said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)
And perhaps most striking: “I no longer call you servants… I have called you friends.” (John 15:15)
Friendship with Jesus—and with each other—is about showing up, being present, and bearing one another’s burdens. Community, forgiveness, and trust weren’t afterthoughts in God’s design—they were intentional.
The Four Qualities of Friendships That Thrive
Over the next few episodes, I’ll be exploring four key qualities that Jesus modeled in friendship: curiosity, commitment, compassion, and confidence. Here’s a preview:
Curiosity – Jesus asked questions that opened hearts. He invited Zacchaeus into relationship and saw Nathaniel under the fig tree. True friendship involves asking real questions and caring about the answers.
Commitment – Jesus never gave up. He modeled loyalty, presence, and faithfulness. Friends who stay consistent build trust and mirror His steadfast love.
Compassion – Jesus healed, forgave, and stayed present. Compassionate friendships bring grace, shared joy, and shared sorrow.
Confidence – Jesus created safe spaces for people to be fully themselves. Friends who protect trust, listen without judgment, and allow others to be authentic cultivate deep connection.
These qualities aren’t about perfection—they’re about intentionality. They remind us that friendship is a practice, a way of living, and a reflection of God’s love in action.
Practical Steps to Cultivate Meaningful Friendships
So how can we, as adults, build friendships that are deep and spiritually nourishing? Here are a few steps I’ve found helpful:
Show up consistently – Friendships need presence. Make time, even in small ways.
Be curious – Ask real questions. Listen fully.
Be vulnerable – Share your struggles and joys. Let people see the real you.
Celebrate growth – Encourage your friends’ steps forward in life, faith, and calling.
Invite God in – Ask Him to guide your relationships, to help you love well, and to show you how to support your friends in ways that reflect His heart.
Friendship Is a Lifelong Journey
Friendship shapes us, challenges us, and teaches us lessons that no other relationship can. It isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it. It’s a journey that begins with curiosity, deepens through commitment and compassion, and grows stronger when confidence and trust are nurtured.
In this Friendship Series, we’ll walk through these qualities together. We’ll explore stories, share practical tips, and reflect on how Jesus models the kind of friendship that transforms lives. My hope is that this series inspires you to evaluate your friendships, cultivate meaningful connections, and invite Jesus into the heart of every relationship.
Whether you’re nurturing new friendships, rekindling old ones, or seeking ways to connect more deeply with God and others, this series is for you. And maybe—just maybe—you’ll find encouragement to step into a friendship that challenges, supports, and empowers you in ways you never imagined.
Friendship matters. It shapes us, sustains us, and reminds us that we are never truly alone.
Listen to the first episode of the Friendship Series on the Orderly Podcast
